


If You Hurt Him - Alfred Edition

by RichardGraysonPercyJackson



Series: The Acrobat and The Mercenary [33]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU
Genre: Alfred Pennyworth Ships It, Alfred Pennyworth is the Best, Alfred edition, Awesome Alfred Pennyworth, M/M, Sassy Alfred Pennyworth, if you hurt him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:02:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23387080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RichardGraysonPercyJackson/pseuds/RichardGraysonPercyJackson
Summary: Let me know your thoughts!
Relationships: Dick Grayson/Slade Wilson
Series: The Acrobat and The Mercenary [33]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1323779
Comments: 16
Kudos: 267





	If You Hurt Him - Alfred Edition

“Alfred,” Dick greeted, surprise in his tone. “Uh, I wasn’t expecting you. At all. Um, can I help you?”

“I do hope I’m not interrupting anything, master Richard?”

“Um…” Dick glanced over his shoulder where Slade was reclining on the couch, scrolling through contract offers on his phone. “No. Not-not really. Come on in.”

“Hello Mr. Wilson,” Alfred greeted when he fully entered the apartment, causing Dick to stare and Slade to turn and stand.

“Mr. Pennyworth,” he returned politely though there was no denying the slight confusion in his eye. At least, Dick noticed the slight confusion. “Is everything alright?”

“Everything is fine, but thank you very much for the concern,” Alfred replied. 

“That’s good,” Dick said. “What, um, brings you by?”

“Well, I was hoping to wish the two of you congratulations on your engagement,” Alfred replied. “And I was also hoping to speak with Mr. Wilson.”

“Let me guess,” Slade said, unable to fight a smile, the expression mirrored by Dick. “You’re here to tell me what you’re going to do if I hurt him.”

“I will be doing no such thing,” Alfred replied. “Unlike the rest of those in my care, I do not go for blunt threats.” he looked Slade up and down before adding. “At least until I know whether or not they are justly deserved.”

“So you...really just came to congratulate us,” Dick said slowly, unable to keep the surprise out of his voice.

“Of course,” Alfred assured. “And to make sure you are being well fed.” that statement was directed at Slade who crossed his arms over his chest.

“Seeing as our apartment is still standing and has not yet burst into flames,” he drawled. “I would assume I’m less of a disaster in the kitchen than he is.”

“Hey!” Dick objected at the same time as Alfred said, “Marvelous.”

“Alfred!” Dick cried, offended. “I’m not  _ that _ bad!”

Alfred sighed. “Master Richard-”

Slade cut him off with the declaration of, “You caught my microwave on fire in my last apartment.”

Dick winced. “I didn’t know I left the fork in the bowl.”

“I reminded you,” Salde drawled. “Three times.”

“Don’t be too offended, Mr. Wilson,” Alfred said sympathetically. “He’s done the same thing in the manor.” he looked over at Dick as he added, “several times, actually. Now, if you excuse me, I have a few homemade meals I’d like to put in your fridge.”

Slade pointed in the direction of the kitchen and as soon as Alfred was gone, Dick put his hand over his heart, a pout on his face as he mumbled,

“I like Wintergreen better now.”

“He is a lot like Wintergreen, isn’t he?” Slade said, chuckling. “I feel like the two of them would get along.”

“We should set up a playdate for them,” Dick said, grinning before he gasped loudly. “A butler date!”

“No.”

“Oh ome  _ on _ !” Dick cried as Slade turned and made his way into the kitchen where Alfred was setting the tupperware dishes in the fridge. “You’re no fun, man! Take a joke sometime.”

“I do,” Slade said, turning to Dick as he said, “I’m taking a joke to be my husband.”

Silence fell over the kitchen and Dick stared at him while Alfred merely watched silently, trying not to react or smile.

Dick shook his head. “You’re terrible.”

“Something you knew long ago,” Slade said, a bright smile appearing on his face. When he never showed around anyone except for Dick. “Yet you’re still going to marry me.”

Dick pouted before turning to Alfred. “Alfred-”

“Master Richard, you are a grown adult,” Alfred declared. “I am certain you can settle you’re own relationship disputes.”

Dick’s mouth fell open and Slade laughed, reaching out to place his fingers beneath DIck’s jaw, closing the acrobat’s mouth with a snap as he said to Alfred,

“You’re officially on my list of people I like very much.”

Having shaken himself out of his shock, Dick added, “It’s a very short list. You’re the third person on it.”

“Well, I’m honored,” Alfred said. “Now, if the two of you will excuse me, I must be off. I need to return in time to pick Master Damian up from school.”

“Tell him I say hi!” Dick said as he and Slade followed Alfred to the door.

“I will tell him you both said hello.”

“I don’t,” Slade muttered as Alfred closed the door. Dick chuckled, wrapping his arms around Slade’s and pressing himself to his fiance’s side.

“Too late!”

Slade rolled his eye.

……………………….

Later in bed as they were curled around each other and drifting off, Slade mumbled,

“I think Mr. Pennyworth’s threat to my life was my favorite one so far.”

“So far,” Dick replied sleepily. “Just wait, I think Damian’s going to sneak over tomorrow while I’m out.”

“Fantastic.”

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know your thoughts!


End file.
